Just Underway

You know I get a lot of grief from other navy wives... they all say "we all go through it" ... I don't think I'd ever say that to a new navy wife that has not gone through it yet. Those words are probably the worst to hear. My husband had gone through 2 months of boot camp... 4 months of A school and two stints of 1.5 months of underway including a call to Haiti in January. But you know what, it will never get any easier for me, I have lost people I love in my life, I have had people that I could not count on but my husband not being here at the end of the day is something I am not willing to accept. Its hard. There are women out there that say "walk a day in my shoes" but you know what; walk a day in mine. You can never compare your life and experiences to anyone else, we are all different and have been through different experiences and learned different ways; dont get me wrong, I am a strong woman but this is probably the hardest thing I have hard to face; an eight month deployment in the next couple months, and I sit here by myself with our beautiful son that says "dada" when he comes down the stairs in the morning. How do I explain to a 22 month old why dada isnt here? I cant even find a single person that will go to an amusement park with me for free. I won tickets and no one will go with me. I've been here in Va Beach a year and I still have no one. I want to go home or I want my husband home. The navy has given me and my son so much, but also taken more from my husband, and I am sure there are people out there, military or not, that have it worse than me, and that sux, but you know what... Im having a hard time and I wish I had a real friend, someone to understand, support me. I don't know how to deal with this one...